This last month has been a soul searching, tear jerking, heart wrenching, spirit building month.
Recently my brother Zack has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Colorectal Cancer. For those in these conditions, the average time left is 11 months. I can't even begin to express the heartache that has plummeted into our family. But on the other side of the pain, there is a peace that soothes our hearts. It is the knowledge and testimony in the Plan of Salvation. It is the strength and comfort that comes from knowing there is a Christ. He has suffered for us, he has borne our grief, and He has made it possible to live on. We hope and pray for many many more days for our Zackary. We also trust in the Lord's plan, whatever that may be.
The other day my sister sent this little quote in the mail to me. It touched my heart immensely. It's easy to dwell on the sadness of what might be left of his time. But it's crucial to give all we have with every day that is given to us, and to him.
After we had all found out, that next Sunday we did a family fast and then gathered together with Zack. My eyes ached after that night. But in the end, we felt blessed for the gift we have been given... each other.
(Hayley and Ezra on left. Tyler in back. Zack and Kori in middle. Jer and I on the sides)
For my birthday, it was hard to even want to celebrate. All I really wanted to do was be with Zack. Chemo makes it hard for him to have energy to be up much. But he stayed awake and alert until I came to visit. And that is absolutely the core of Zackary. He gives so much of his love for his family. I love him so much for it.
He was able to listen to conference this year, after a very difficult struggle with chemo. The last song of one of the sessions the Tabernacle Choir sang, "I'll go where you want me to Go". He lost it. I lost it. We all did. I had to capture to tender moment as Kori his wife came by his side to silently comfort him. I don't know how she keeps going. But she amazes me as she too struggles with coming to reality of way may happen and the load she bares. And Zackary is worth it all. We don't even think twice about it, we all want to be there for him and his family.
The next weekend my brother Jacob came down from Nebraska with his wife to see Zack. We seized the opportunity to take some family pictures while they were here. Zackary felt so weak, but didn't want to miss it... bless his heart.
Zack, Kori and their two beautiful girls Tate and Kenzie
What a blessing it was to be together, on such a beautiful day.
I think of my parents so much during this time too. They are rocks. Even when things seem to be at their worst, they don't stop having faith. I am so grateful for their love and devotion to all their children.
We LOVE you Zack, more than words could fully express
